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Alex Jones Had the Most Alex Jones Excuse for Smoking Weed

Alex Jones is the man behind InfoWars and such insane ramblings as “Barack Obama is a literal demon!” and “9/11 was an inside job!” and “The Newtown massacre was a hoax and none of those children actually died!” In other words, he’s a dangerous maniac with a microphone. And more than that, he’s a dangerous maniac with a microphone to whom Donald Trump has lended some semblance of credibility. So while I’d usually give someone a pass from scrutiny during a tough time, Alex Jones gets as much of a break as he’s given any sane person whom he’s disagreed with, which is to say none at all.

Yesterday Jones testified in court, and it was very weird. First, the questioning opened on an unusual note. His ex-wife’s lawyer began the proceedings by asking if Jones had eaten chili. I know, it seems crazy. And it is, but not in the way you might think. This explanation comes from BuzzFeed News’s report:

The question was in reference to Jones’ March 4 deposition, in which the 43-year-old radio and TV personality was unable to recall the names of his children’s teachers after eating a big bowl of chili.

You know how sometimes you can’t remember things because you had some chili? I hate it when that happens to me. It’s like, “Dammit, Jack! How can you expect yourself to remember to pick up your girlfriend from the airport if you’re gonna down a bowl of chili?” Oh, that’s not a thing? My bad. It was used as an excuse in a deposition, so I thought it must be a thing. Anyway, Jones then got pissed about the notion that he’s a “performance artist” and expressed frustration with the media for reporting that. I get it. I hate when people say things about me that aren’t true. The only problem is, in this case, IT WAS HIS OWN LAWYER who made the argument. But yeah, blame the media.

But the moment that really stood out was when Jones was asked if he smokes weed. Now, a normal human being would say “yes” or maybe “no.” But Alex Jones isn’t a normal human being. Instead this was his take:

Jones said he sometimes smokes marijuana — nearly yearly — “to monitor its strength, which is how law enforcement does it.” He then added that he tested it because he believes it is now too strong — a development he blamed on billionaire and political donor George Soros, whom he claimed in court has “brain damaged a lot of people.”

I don’t even know where to begin here. First, the idea that Jones smokes weed once a year to “monitor its strength” is lunacy. Why does he have to monitor its strength? Who assigned him this task? And “which is how law enforcement does it”? Does what? It’s official police procedure to smoke weed once a year to monitor its strength? That certainly sounds like the made-up ramblings of a message-board troll, but even if that were true, Alex, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not law enforcement. You’re a radio host. That’s it. Well, I guess a radio host with the ear of the president. Which I guess says more about the state of the country than anything else.

The conspiracy theorist's custody testimony had everything you could want: weed, insane conspiracy theories, and of course chili.

Alex Jones, Infowars Conspiracy Theorist, Charged with Drunk Driving in Austin, Texas

Alex Jones Faces a DWI Charge After Failing a Field Sobriety Test

Alex Jones, a famous conspiracy theorist and the founder of Infowars.com, found himself in the Travis County Jail in Austin, Texas on March 10 after being arrested for driving while intoxicated (DWI). He posted a $3,000 bond the next morning. During his show later that day, Jones aired his grievances about his arrest. He cited a copy of a police report with his breathalyzer results, which listed his BAC as .076 and .079 from the night of his arrest. The legal BAC limit for driving in Texas is .08.

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Local authorities have released a statement about the traffic arrest. They say that the police officer who arrested Jones was responding to a domestic dispute call involving Jones and his ex-wife. Although his BAC was below the legal limit, Jones was reportedly unable to pass field sobriety tests and smelled strongly of alcohol, resulting in his arrest.

Who is Alex Jones?

Alex Jones hosts one of the most popular conspiracy talk-shows on the Internet, The Alex Jones Show. His program has dipped in and out of viral fame over the past decade. Known for his wild outbursts and controversial ideas, Jones has found much of his mainstream exposure filtered through the lens of public outrage. Among his many conspiracy theories, Jones has claimed that:

  • The US government possesses “weather weapons”
  • The Pentagon is using experimental chemicals to turn people and frogs gay
  • Robert Mueller, the former FBI Director who investigated President Donald Trump, is a demon and a pedophile who runs an organization of pedophiles
  • Hillary Clinton runs a child sex trafficking operation out of a pizza parlor

His most notorious conspiracy theory has embroiled him in an ongoing legal battle. He has asserted multiple times on The Alex Jones Show that the United States government staged the Sandy Hook Elementary School Shooting in 2012 and that no one actually died during the tragic event. Multiple parents who lost children in the mass shooting are suing Jones for his comments. Jones’ ex-wife recently pursued legal action to obtain full custody of their children, citing Jones’ unstable and unhinged personality. The night he was arrested for DWI, Jones was driving to another one of his residences in Austin to try “to get away from his wife,” according to a police affidavit.

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DWIs and DUIs in Texas

Driving laws fluctuate from state to state. The state of Texas only charges minors with DUI and there is no threshold BAC for the charge. Any amount of alcohol reliably detected in a minor’s system is sufficient to qualify for DUI. Fines for DUI in Texas run as high as $500. They are also usually accompanied by a maximum of 40 hours of community service time, mandatory alcohol awareness classes, and a 60-day driver’s license suspension.

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A DWI charge is much more serious in Texas and carries severe penalties. The primary means of determining a DWI is blood alcohol content (BAC). If a person blows a .08 BAC or more into a breathalyzer, their BAC breaches the legal limit for driving. While BAC is the most common determining factor, if a police officer considers the person’s level of intoxication to be unsafe even within legal limits, the police can administer a field sobriety test in an attempt to assess the person’s coordination and cognition. If the person passes the breathalyzer test, but fails the field sobriety test, the police can arrest them and charge them with DWI. This is what happened in the case of Alex Jones.

The famous conspiracy theorist Alex Jones has been charged with DWI in Austin, Texas after blowing under the legal limit, but failing the sobriety test.