The Weed Week Bracket: What’s the Best Way to Get High?
With marijuana legalization looking more and more like an inevitability, the marijuana enthusiast faces a new problem: How should they get high?
In the old days, stoners didn’t exactly lack for options—they could roll joints, turn apples into pipes, invest in a bong, bake brownies if they knew how—but today you can ingest your cannabis via gourmet meals, increasingly high-tech vapes, and bongs that double as art pieces.
Everyone has their favorite way to get high, but there’s only one way to determine the best: A March Madness–style bracket featuring 32 different ways to get stoned. And you, dear readers, get to vote on each matchup to determine the winner. Just stayed tuned to the VICE Twitter account, where a series of polls will sort this out.
But before voting opens, let me give any n00bs reading this an overview of each method and its seeding in each of our four “regions”:
1. Water Bong: The glass bong, the classic, you know what it is.
2. Glass Bowl: Another classic. It’s literally the law to own at least one of these if you smoke weed.
3. Bubbler: A sort of crossover between a water bong and a bowl, for when you want to filter the smoke through water but don’t want to go through the whole bong ordeal.
4. One Hitter: A small pipe, favored by those who like to light up on the go and/or have a low weed tolerance.
Left: Water bongs via Wikimedia Commons | Right: Glass bowl via Eve Peyser
5. Wooden Pipe: Perfect for the stoner who doesn’t want to get into a whole discussion about glassware.
6. Hookah: If you don’t think a bong is elaborate enough, can I interest you in a hookah?
7. Gravity Bong: This is a cross between a science experiment and a way to get you really, really high. Here’s a how-to video:
8. Gas Mask Bong: For only the most hardcore stoner, this bong allows you to do the impossible—look like a total nerd while smoking pot.
1. Brownies: A regular brownie with cannabis butter so you get high instead of just getting satiated.
2. Gummies: More complicated than your average make-it-at-home edible, but also more fun.
3. Chocolates: A fancy stoner’s brownie.
4. Cookies: For when you’re tired of brownies.
5. Firecrackers: A graham cracker with peanut butter, chocolate, and weeeeeeeed.
6. Tea: A good way to get stoned if you’re a parent.
7. Crackers: Yes, this exists—you just have to go to Colorado to find it.
8. Mints: I guess this is for when you have bad breath and also want to get extremely high?
1. Joint: The #1 classic—paper and weed baby!
2. Blunt: A cigar wrapper, oft flavored, with pure, uncut 100 percent marijuana on the inside.
3. Spliff: A joint with tobacco mixed in with weed. For when you don’t have much weed, your weed sucks, or you can’t handle the strength of smoking pure weed.
4. Hotbox: All you need is a small enclosed space, like a car or a bathroom. A favorite of teenagers.
5. Cross Joint: Two joints joined together to create a cross. 420 X JESUS CHRIST is the hottest mashup of the 21st century.
6. Apple Bong: A bong made out of an apple.
7. Banana Bong: An apple bong, except you use a banana instead. Do I need to draw you a diagram?
8. Soda Can: Favored by young marijuana enthusiasts, all you have to do is punch a small hole in an empty can and you have a pipe. The first time I smoked weed with friends, I did so from a soda can, and it sucked. Don’t do it!
23RD-CENTURY SHIT REGION
1. Oil Vape: Usually in the form of a pen with a THC oil attachment, this method is favored by classy stoners, and those who live in states with legal marijuana.
2. Flower Vape: Like an oil vape, except you put actual weed in there, and it some how magically vaporizes into stoner goodness.
3. Dabbing: For experienced stoners only, this form of marijuana ingestion uses extremely pure THC shatter or wax, which you can buy at your local dispensary if you’re blessed enough to live in states like Colorado, California, or Oregon. Otherwise, it’s pretty easy to make your own. All you need is a bong for dabbing, parchment paper, and weed.
4. THC Oil: For anyone who doesn’t like smoking and wants to forgo caloric edibles, you can ingest pure THC oil to get you high.
5. Volcano Vape: This pricey vape goes for almost $500, and compared to its smaller vape counterpart, the Volcano is a big boy. Basically, the vape fills a plastic bag with vapor, which you then suck into your lungs, and voila! You’re stoned.
6. Weed Capsules: If all this is making you stressed, you can now consume weed simply by taking a pill.
7. Topical Ointment: Cannabis-infused lotion might not get you high, but it will help you with aches, pains, and soreness.
8. Suppositories: This is the one you stick up your butt or vagina. Don’t pick this one.
Now that you have all the deets, it’s time for you to cast your vote—keep an eye out on the VICE Twitter for the first round of polling.
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Over the next few days, we'll be asking our readers to decide.
How to conserve your weed
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- Get the right gear
- Store your cannabis properly
- Invest in quality
- Smoke less
There are many reasons you might want to get the most out of your cannabis flower: to save money, minimize dispensary visits, or simply to stretch out your supply during a dry spell. Whatever your reason for wanting to conserve your stash, there are steps you can take to stretch your weed dollar further. This guide will walk you through how to properly conserve your weed.
Get the right gear
Having the right gear for cannabis consumption can go a long way towards conserving your cannabis. Joints and blunts are the least efficient consumption methods for flower, as the burning tip burns off the cannabinoids even when you’re not inhaling. It also takes a lot of flower to properly pack a joint or blunt, which means much of your stash is going into a single experience. If you love your joints, remember, you don’t have to smoke it all at once.
Glass pieces, such as pipes and bongs, feature smaller bowls and prevent you from loading too much bud at once. If you smoke the whole thing and you still want more, you can just pack another bowl. Bongs are also a good way to maximize your flower, as the long chamber allows you to consume all the smoke from the burning cannabis and take fewer hits to get the same experience.
Glass pieces, such as pipes and bongs, feature smaller bowls and prevent you from loading too much bud at once. Photo by: Gina Coleman/Weedmaps
To get the most mileage out of the flower you use in blunts, joints, or glass, use a proper three-tier grinder and save the kief, which are the resinous trichomes that fall off the flower during the grinding process. You can reuse this very potent dust to sprinkle on top of future bowls and add to their potency.
Vaporizers are also a great way to stretch out the viability of your dried cannabis. Vapes heat cannabis at lower temperatures and burn off less of the cannabinoids in the bud, which means you get more THC by consuming less cannabis.
Store your cannabis properly
The proper storage of cannabis helps ensure your cannabis stays fresh and potent for as long as possible. To extend the shelf life of cannabis, it should be kept in a cool, dark place at or slightly below room temperature. The ideal storage temperature for weed is below 70 degrees Fahrenheit, or 21 degrees Celsius. The darkness and cool temperature prevent moisture from changing the integrity of your flower and stop mold or mildew, which love light and warmth, from growing.
To extend the shelf life of cannabis, it should be kept in a cool, dark place at or slightly below room temperature. Photo by: Gina Coleman/Weedmaps
Light and oxygen are the main culprits when it comes to degrading flower. According to a study that explored the stability of cannabis in various storage conditions, light is the single largest contributor to the loss and deterioration of cannabinoids. Carefully stored cannabis can stay reasonably stable for 1-2 years in dark, room-temperature conditions.
Ultraviolet light will also degrade your cannabis, so use dark and airtight glass jars to preserve your flower’s THC and prevent it from degrading into cannabinol (CBN), a cannabinoid that doesn’t have the same intoxicating properties as THC.
Invest in quality
There’s something to be said for investing in higher quality cannabis. Levels of potency, terpene profiles, curing and drying processes, and growing conditions all play into the experience of smoking a particular flower cultivar. If you can afford to spend a little more on high-quality flower from a reputable source, the potency may encourage you to consume less. Be aware, however, that research indicates those who routinely consume highly potent weed develop a tolerance over time, in which case the best method for conservation is to cut back on frequency.
As you increase the regularity of your consumption, the body builds up a tolerance to THC. Tolerance increases with many substances, such as caffeine, due to a biological process called downregulation in which cells decrease their sensitivity to particular molecules. More THC in the endocannabinoid system (ECS) overwhelms the CB1 receptors, and in turn, the cells reduce their sensitivity to THC. With this negative feedback loop, a consumer must smoke more and more cannabis to achieve the same experience they could when they first began consumption.
Your body will need more potent doses of cannabis the more frequently you consume, as your body “downregulates” the introduction of cannabinoids. Photo by: Gina Coleman/Weedmaps
When you intentionally regulate the amount of cannabis you intake, your body’s tolerance adjusts and you soon will be able to achieve your desired experience with a lot less green. Little habit adjustments go a long way: lightly pack a smaller bowl; roll narrow joints, called pinners, instead of fat joints; or invest in a one-hitter or snap bong piece designed for the smallest hit possible.
Already have a high tolerance? Never fear — a study from the Yale School of Medicine found that “significant CB1R upregulation begins with two days of abstinence and continues over four weeks.” In other words, when a cannabis smoker takes a break, CB1 receptors begin to bounce back after two days and return to almost normal levels after four weeks.
How to conserve your weed Copy article link to clipboard. Link copied to clipboard. Contents Get the right gear Store your cannabis properly Invest in quality Smoke