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dab hits gone wrong

Stoners Share Their Worst Dabbing Stories

Even if you’re a daily stoner, the first time you dab can be a terrifying, coughing-fit filled experience if you’re not properly prepared. Though shatter may not be as “toxic and highly addictive” as some reports may lead you to believe, it can still really fuck you up.

If you’ve been getting high in 2016 but still haven’t heard of dabs, it refers to smoking super-pure THC concentrates that have been extracted from weed. Extraction is not the most simple process—it can actually be quite dangerous since it involves flammable chemicals—so it’s best left to the pros. The resulting product can vary, but most commonly it looks like a hard taffy.

Doing a dab is an experience that’s landed me immobilized in a vintage dentist chair at a cannabis industry party, and on another occasion, taught me that hallucinogens aren’t the only class of drugs that can make you trip. I reached out to stoners with varying degrees of experience with cannabis to find out what happened to them the fateful day they decided to dab for the first time.

I went to an outdoor wedding last summer, and after getting wasted off the open bar, I was looking around for something a bit stronger as the night went on. No one really had any drugs except for this one dude who looked fucking trashed and was hitting on all the bridesmaids. When I approached him, he immediately offered to give me a dab, so we went behind his car that was parked on the grass and he set up the rig on the hood. It was really dark, so I couldn’t see shit, and we were using our phones as flashlights. Of course when I went to hit it, I burned myself on the hot red metal part. I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want to seem like an idiot; I got a huge blister on my hand that lasted for a couple weeks. On top of that, even though I have been smoking weed for years, I coughed my brains out to the point where I had tears streaming down my face and was nauseous. Luckily it was dark out so no one could really tell. After, I was so fucking sweaty and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep. It was way too intense. Honestly, some cocaine would have sufficed.

Not only does this stuff get you really high, but it is also strangely beautiful. Photo via Flickr user Andres Rodriguez

My first time I really dabbed was before the word dab existed, which was in 2005. Around two years ago, dabbing became a thing in Denver, Colorado. (I have been smoking weed for 14 years.) Before legalization, I tried an original, craft-cannabis strain of “budder.” Back then, we didn’t know how to dab because dabbing wasn’t a thing. We took a tiny drop on a little paperclip, used a lighter, and a pen cap.

But when dabbing became a big thing around 2014, I remember being at Movement Electronic Music Festival in Detroit. My friend from Dancesafe was there, and she was like, “Want to do a dab?” And we were like, “What’s that? Sure!” So we went with her, and she was like, “Let me pull out my rig.” We thought she was talking about needles, so we were really freaked out. She pulled out the rig and a blowtorch, which was also really freaky. Like what is going on? Why does she have a blowtorch? We did the first dab, and we didn’t have any weed, so when she offered another dab, we were like, “sure, yeah,” because when you smoke weed you smoke so much, right? Two dabs will do you. We were so high for the rest of the day. I don’t think I did any other drugs at that festival.

A lot of people think that you should keep dabbing and dabbing because in the media they see people taking huge ones, but all you really need is a tiny dab, and two can sometimes be too much. People also think that just like regular cannabis you’re supposed to hold it in, but one of the tips I got working at Vapor Central [Lisa is currently co-manager at Hotbox Medi Lounge and is the founder of Budz Trading Zone, a cannabis-themed offshoot of Bunz Trading Zone] is that you should blow it out right away. Anytime I give anyone new to it a dab, I tell them not to hold it in. It’s 80 percent plus THC, so you don’t need to hold it in.

For some reason, two experiences mentioned in this article ended in a dentist chair. Coincidence? We think not. Photo by the author

I was at my friend’s house, and it was just a bunch of guys who smoke weed and do nothing. It was after school, and I used to go there basically every day, and I smoked some weed but not as much as they did—maybe once a week. So my one friend asked if I wanted to smoke a dab, and I was like, “Fuck it, whatever.” I was already super stoned on hash at that moment too, so I smoked it and then like obviously got destroyed and was half asleep. It was all really weird because we were watching How It’s Made, and I was seriously tripping. Ten minutes later, my mom called and said I had a dentist appointment in ten minutes I totally had forgot about.

I lived down the street from this guy’s house anyways, so she was there in five minutes to pick me up. She called being like, “I’m outside, you have the dentist, hurry up.” And I was like… fuck. So we went. She knew I was really fucked up, but my mom is pretty young so she didn’t care really. Then I just like sat in the chair while the dentist worked on my cavity and fell asleep for almost the whole time. The dentist probably knew my eyes were super red, but they gave me glasses. I don’t think they said anything; they barely even talked to me. I remember it was really awkward—I couldn’t even stay awake. I was like so fucking over it and never smoked dabs again. I legit fell asleep at the dentist’s; they like had to wake me up halfway through because I kept closing my mouth. It was so whack.

A wild brontosaurus dab rig appears. Photo via Flickr user Steven Schwartz

My friends and I went to Melanheadz, which was a vapor lounge that has since been busted, and I tried dabs and butter mixed. I went in, [the proprietor] set everything up, and instructed me on how to smoke it. While doing it, I pulled too hard like I was smoking a bong, but I didn’t know it was different. I ended up choking and not being able to clear my bowl. I was coughing so hard for literally like ten minutes. Even though I am a daily smoker (usually I smoke blunts and joints), the people inside were laughing at me saying I was a noob and shit. All I was thinking was that I didn’t give a fuck, I just wanted the coughing to stop, and at one point I barfed after the coughing stopped. When I was coughing I was telling myself, Never again, this isn’t worth it.

After I calmed down from the coughing, I felt like a potato. I sat in the backseat of my friend’s car while we just drove around, and it was so sick because I felt like I was the car. I was in tune with everything around me, and I got the munchies. I was so hungry I ate two Philly cheesesteaks, a McChicken, a fish filet, and large fries, and a drink. Then we went to the Scarborough Bluffs and my boys rolled a blunt, but I didn’t even feel like getting high for the whole rest of the day.

I’ve been smoking weed since I was 14 years old. I literally smoke every day before and after I do anything, but dabs fuck with me. I tried them for the first time last year (though I’ve known about them for years) and found out they just make me want to pass out. I was at my friend’s place, and with the experience I have, I didn’t really think anything of trying out a new way of smoking. I was wrong. After I took my first hit, I was coughing even though I never really do that after hitting anything. My head was fucking pounding, and it wouldn’t stop. In my mind, I was like like, What the fuck, I’m never smoking again. It makes me hate being high and question my life choices way more so than smoking in any other way—and I love weed. Anytime I hit a dab, just like that first time, it makes me question why I chose to smoke that day or that moment, I’m just like, I would rather have just not smoked today than to feel like this. I can handle a dab pen, but when it comes to doing actual dabs from a rig, yeah, I’d rather not. But sometimes I do it anyway.

Interviews have been edited for length and clarity.

Hint: Don't hold it in.

Dab hits gone wrong

Happy dab day, cannabis lovers!

Less than three months after the annual springtime festivities of 4/20, the weed world’s newest high holiday — 7/10, aka “OIL” spelled upside down — is upon us. The July celebration is dedicated to all things cannabis oil and concentrates, and across the world stoners will be firing up butane torches, pressing rosin, and pulling on vape pens to pay tribute to weed’s waxiest form.

To kill time while we wait for our dab nails to cool down, we’ve compiled a list of obscenely large, and potentially record-breaking, shatter hits documented on video. Despite being a relatively new form of THC consumption, pot fans around the world have spent the past few years constantly trying to outdo each other, inhaling as much concentrated cannabis as humanly possible — and then throwing in a few extra grams (or ounces) on top for good measure.

So sit back, relax, take a dab of your favorite sauce, and enjoy these over-the-top examples of today’s holiday spirit.

Starting our exploration of excess with a video from all the way back in 2014 — before portable e-nails and low temp dabs were in fashion — a Denver stoner known only as Mountain Man toked steadily from a dual-nailed rig while helpful assistants dropped globs of wax on the glowing-hot titanium. All in all, Mr. Mountain consumes some 22.5 grams of oil before dropping his head between his arms in a victorious collapse. That’s a lot of heat.

In 2015, a group of hash heads in the Pacific Northwest decided that one person breaking a dab record wouldn’t suffice. Instead, the crew decided to hotbox an entire room with a stupefying 400 gram dab. Thrown onto a giant suspended metal plate heated with industrial torches, the bonfire dab immediately filled the room with a thick cloud — though it was unclear how much concentrate actually made it into the lungs of the giddy revelers.

Despite any official recognition, a quick trip down a few YouTube rabbit holes shows that at least one brave stoner has attempted to set a “world’s largest dab” record. In 2016, Colorado’s Studio 420 organized an informal competition, featuring a 31 gram dab consumed via two bucket-sized banger nails connected to one rig. After carb capping the ounce of shatter, assistants continually torched the nails further and brought out another torched rig, keeping the dab going for more than six minutes.

Earlier this year, yet another Denver dabber took the slab challenge a step further, piling 40 grams of THC distillate into a quartz banger before toking continuously for a damn-near 13 minutes. While taking the hit, torches flickered and fire alarms blared, adding some stressful sounds of danger to the ganja gauntlet.

Finally, we arrive at what is (as far as we can tell) the current unofficial world record for the largest individual dab. Coming in at a whopping 55 grams, the absurd solo session was taken from a five-nailed rig. After catching on fire during some initial dabbing, our fearless hero blew out the flames and returned immediately to the bong’s mouthpiece, inhaling nearly two ounces of THC in one sitting. Not all heroes wear capes.

Happy 7/10 y’all — don’t try to top these legends unless you’ve got excess fire hydrants (and water) on hand.

As we light our torches on the summer’s annual cannabis concentrates holiday, we take a look back at some of the world’s most extreme dabs. Not all heroes wear capes.