Experience:354mg DXM, weed, nicotine – Descending into the void
- Age: 18
- Height: 5’8″
- Weight: 54 kg / 120 lbs
- Dosage: 354 mg DXM.
At midnight, I grabbed an empty water bottle and quietly left my house. When I got to my car outside, I opened the trunk and tore the plastic thing off of the cap to a single bottle of cough syrup. I poured it into my water bottle as quickly as possible, then tucked my water bottle under my shirt, closed my trunk, and snuck back inside.
I really don’t want to be caught on drugs by my parents, because over the years I’ve convinced them that I’m straight-edge. I got to my bathroom and poured water into the water bottle. (The mixture was about 2 parts cough syrup to 1 part water.) I have a much easier time ingesting cough syrup if it’s slightly watered down, just to change the gross texture. I drink it over the course of 15 minutes while listening to Death Grips on shuffle.
I don’t quite remember how, but I found my way to a really long Wikipedia article on the eight circuit model of consciousness. By the time I finish reading, I’m nearing the final stages of the come up. I go back into my bathroom, unlock my lockbox, and pack a HUGE bowl of weed into my pipe. I smoke weed daily, but only in very small portions. The biggest bowl I usually smoke is about 0.1g. This bowl was easily 3x larger than my typical bowl. Anyways, I go outside and smoke that shit. As I near the end of the bowl, an airplane flies overhead.
I’m not a “spiritual” person, but I always consider a plane flying overhead at night when I’m smoking to be a good omen, and I always have a great high after seeing one. I know it’s psychological and not neurological, but the highs I get after seeing a plane (which is pretty rare) are the best.
By the time I completely finished the bowl and blew it out, I was feeling very dizzy. When I’m outside smoking, I keep my eyes closed unless I’m taking a hit. I decided to open my eyes to look at the trees, they were flowing upwards really intensely. The edges between the tops of the trees and the sky were dancing. It looked like black fire on a dark blue backdrop. I made my way back towards my house (about 150 feet) and when I passed my dad’s truck, my vision jerked violently. The front of my dad’s truck looked like a gigantic mouth with jagged teeth, snapping at me repeatedly. At this point, I was pretty terrified but I told myself to be brave.
I walked past the truck and up to the steps leading up to the side door to my house.
Each step appeared to be composed of many smaller steps, and each smaller step was composed of smaller steps, etc. This fractal affect was incredibly disorienting so I closed my eyes and climbed them by feel, even though I was really dizzy. I made it back to my bathroom to put my pipe and lighter away. It usually takes me about three minutes to get my weed stuff packed away, gloves and flashlight put away, etc. During the entire duration I had an intense fear of looking in the mirror, I thought that if I looked inside of it and saw my own eyes, I would be trapped in the mirror forever. Every sensation (visual, auditory, and tactile) felt distant and artificial. I think this is what derealization is.
When I made it back to my room, I sat at my computer and put Death Grips on again. Though I’ve listened to every Death Grips song many times before, every song seemed completely new and different.
I found my cheapo vape pen (nicotine, not more weed), and started inhaling nonstop because I had read about how nicotine greatly potentiates DXM’s dissociative effects and I’ve never tried it before.
I stopped paying attention to everything, and suddenly I was struck with a sensation I’ve never felt before. I felt my head expanding as I shot forward in space, which was really overwhelming, so I decided to turn the lights off and get in bed.
When I got in bed, I pressed my thumbs into my eyes to induce entoptic hallucinations, something I do regularly when I smoke weed. For some reason, nothing was happening and I was only seeing black, but I felt some sort of pressure building. When I took my hands away from my eyes, it felt the pressure burst and I saw incredible patterns of vibrant and almost overwhelmingly bright colors.
The two most prominent and memorable were
- a gigantic neon green eye over my whole vision
- bright yellow veins and spider webs over my whole vision
When these faded, I decided to put my headphones back on, and listen to a five-minute track of women screaming on youtube. I can’t really say why I thought this was a good idea. My heart was racing by the end. As soon as it finished, a dark blue cloud started growing in my vision. It expanded until it reached the edge of my field of vision, then my field of vision started expanding (what felt like) infinitely. I completely lost connection with physical sensation, but at the same time, I felt my body stretching out vertically. It felt like I was ten feet tall. I felt my now-stringy body swirling, spinning, and spiraling into different shapes. As this was happening, I also had a sensation of traveling through space on my bed.
It became more and more intense, and eventually, I saw myself on the side of a slowly-rotating cone-shaped machine. I looked around and saw many more of these cone-shaped machines flying through the black void I was in. I looked closer, and saw that there were many more beds (which were more like the monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey, with other people attached to them. I looked to my sides and saw that my cone-machine also had more people on it, too. I looked closer and saw that they were all me, except they all had my long hair I had when I was growing up. (I had long hair for my entire life until I recently decided to shave my head and grow a mohawk.) I looked back to the other cone-machines, and the people on all of them were also me, with my old long hair.
I felt the cone machines descend until eventually, I was at the edge of a hollow cylinder (directly under me) about 5 feet in diameter and about 100 feet tall. The cylinder passed through the cone-machine. When I reached the bottom of the cylinder, my body didn’t pass through, so I was left in the bottom of the cylinder as the cone-machine continued to descend. My stretched-out body sat comfortably in the cylinder, which I now considered to be “my hole”.
The bottom of my hole was a perfect hemisphere, and was filled with soft shapeless blobs, which I considered to me “my pillows”. Keep in mind that the only REAL pillow in my bed was the one underneath my head, even though I felt “my pillows” all around my body. I lied in my hole for what felt like eternity, and as I looked around, I could see hundreds of other “me’s” sitting in their holes all around me in space. I thought every thought that was thinkable, saw every object seeable, heard every sound hearable. I know this isn’t actually possible, but it really felt like it.
Their holes were scattered around, always very distant from each other. Some were too high above me to look at and some were too far below me to look at. After what felt like forever, my assigned cone-machine came from underneath me and brought me back up, out of my hole and back into reality. I “woke up” in my bed, looked at my phone, and the time was 4:30 AM. I went back to sleep.
This experience was the most incredible experience I’ve had with any drug. I’ve tried 4g of mushrooms a few times before, and DXM many times as well too. I’ve even had 800mg DXM before, but this 354mg trip was the most incredible I’ve had.
Experience reports – DXM