How to smoke weed inside without smell
Growing up, my mother was (and still is) a big stoner, so I’ve never been concerned with getting caught green-handed at home. However, throughout the years I’ve exercised discretion while getting high in hotels and dorms, at the Waffle House, during concerts, in the middle of the disco, at the company holiday party, in the basement of my friend’s house paranoid on acid, in the stairwell of a music studio in midtown Manhattan, in the hot tub of the Ritz-Carlton at 2 a.m. before being escorted out by security…I could go on for days. Needless to say, learning to be a stealthy stoner is a bright idea. Pay attention while I dish you some tips.
Anticipate Your Needs
When toking on the down low, you want easy access to everything you could possibly need. I recommend putting together a stash bag, like one from the AnnaBís collection, full of essentials: breath mints, gum, eye drops, fragrance oil, miniature air freshener, moist toilettes, lighter, matches, poker or paper clip, pipe cleaners, one-hitter, cannabis, etc.
Choose a Method
Whatever you do, don’t smoke a blunt or a joint because the smoke is uncontrollable and you will get busted. Instead, use a bowl with a lid like the Proto Pipe or a one-hitter. Or skip combustion all together and vaporize your cannabis. CO2 vape oil pens and portable dry leaf vaporizers like the PAX 2 are super discreet, extremely convenient and easy to hide. Plus, the vapors emitted are much tamer and the odor is subtle. Just be sure to keep your bud in an air-tight jar. It’ll give off more aroma than your plumes of vapor.
Related: Stoner Buddy Movies
Banish the Smell
The sweet and pungent aroma of cheeba is easily recognizable. You’ll want to mask or eliminate the odor the best you can. First, close all vents and block the draft under your door. You can use a towel for the door, but I prefer a draft stopper because it looks less sketchy. Consider investing in an air purifier. They’re spendy, but well worth the investment. Scented candles, incense, and air sanitizers are helpful, too. In college, I perfected the art of smoking through a spoof and never got caught. Make your own by taking an empty toilet paper or paper towel roll and taping a folded drier sheet on one end. Simply, exhale into the open end for fresh-laundry-scented smoke. Or, you can buy one of these handy personal smoke filters: Smoke Buddy, Sploofy or Snubbz. Also, next time you’re in a head shop, look for a tiny spoof disguised as chapstick. It makes a handy addition to your stash bag.
Eliminate the Smoke
Open a window and place a box fan facing outside in the sill. Turn it on high. After you take a hit, cover the top of your bowl or one hitter. Then, exhale slowly into the back of the fan. If you have another fan in the room, allow it to oscillate.
Hide the Noise
You may cough or get a case of the giggles. Not to mention, the click of your lighter may tip someone off. Do yourself a favor and play some background music. Electric fans will help create ambient noise as well. You could turn on the TV, but it’s generally a buzzkill. If you’re in the bathroom, run the shower or faucet. Keep a pillow or hoodie close by to muffle uncontrollable fits of laughter and the like.
Survey the Scene
Is the smoke alarm disarmed? Are the doors locked? Are the vents closed? Is the window open? Is the draft under the door blocked? Is the air purifier turned on? Is music playing? Is your 420-fearing roommate around? Are your parents home? Are your kids home? Where’s your stash bag? Before your judgement gets a little hazy, take note of your surroundings, make sure you have everything you need, and take any last minute precautions to avoid unexpected encounters.
Devise an Emergency Backup Plan
Accidents happen. Maybe, after a few drinks, you think it’s a good idea to hot box the apartment. Perhaps, you’re smoking up with inexperienced tokers and someone knocks over the bong, allowing the stench and smoke to escape. You may forget to towel the door. One of your friends may start squealing like a pig. Stay cool, spray air sanitizer, open a window, hide your stash, and take a walk. What happens if a neurotic roommate or asshole neighbor stops by to complain? Apologize and send them on their way. What happens if the police come knocking at your door? Stay cool and know your 4th Amendment rights.
Stealthy Stoner Bonus Tips:
- Smoke up in the bathroom. It’s the one place you can get away with spending extended periods of time without someone barging in.
- Cover your fire alarm with a plastic shower cap to keep it from going off while you’re blazing.
- Keep an empty beer bottle around. If someone calls you out for acting silly, blame it on the malty beverage.
- Explore the discrete world of medicated edibles, tinctures, and patches. No smell, no smoke, no problems.
How to get lit without getting caught.
How To Hide The Smell Of Weed Like A Pro
Although weed does not smell bad per se, it has a strong, distinct smell that is not easy to ignore. This smell could be irritating to some people, such as your family members. Your friends might have already become accustomed to the smell because they might be your smoking buddies.
You do not want your car or house to smell like weed all the time. It will certainly not go down well with your landlord. Whatever reason you may have to hide the smell of weed, these few tips will help you do it like a pro.
Get The Right Strain
Start by ensuring that you get the right kind of weed. When you buy some, make sure that the buds are completely dry and free from moisture. These buds will definitely have the strong natural smell of weed but trust me, they will be smelling better and tasting better than moist ones.
Store Your Weed Well
This is an important step. If you do not want to have your clothing, house, and belongings smelling of pot all the time, you should store this weed in airtight places. The best way is to store in airtight jars. Mason jars work perfectly for this.
Smoke In The Right Place
Don’t smoke around pillows, towels, blankets or pieces of clothing you don’t want to smell —t hose signature cannabis scents love to stick to fabrics.
If you prefer to smoke in your car make sure you roll down the windows so that the fumes can escape. But make sure to do it in a secluded area since most states don’t allow for public consumption.
Use Smoke-Free Ways Of Consumption
How about finding a smoke-free way to smoke weed? There are many ways to do that. The most common way is probably use of edible products. Although edibles do have a strong smell when you’re preparing them, they will be scent free by the time they’re ready to eat.
You can also use a sploof — a device that you blow the smoke into after you take a puff. It acts as a neutralizer to the smoke. You can find videos of how to make your own online.
Vaporizers are also pretty effective at masking the smell of cannabis. They have flavors and scents that are pretty effective in neutralizing the strong, natural smell of weed. You can choose practically any type of flavor you wish. Research has also shown that vaping is a better way of consuming cannabis as it is hygienic and preserves all the important elements without bringing out the toxic stuff.
The Trick Is Airflow
Trying to get rid of the weed smell in your house? The trick is ensuring that you have good ventilation and air circulation. You can open the windows to allow for more air into the house. People who have a balcony have it less tough as this presents the opportunity for free and abundant circulation of air. If you have a fan in your place you can try giving that a spin too.
Vacuum Your Carpet
The smell has a funny way of sticking to stuffy places and the carpet is one of the obvious culprits. Use scented candles to keep the room smelling fresh after the weed smell has dissipated.
Scrub the Air
If you’ve got the spare change, investing in an air purifier can be a real lifesaver too.
To keep yourself from smelling like weed, you can pop a mint, change clothes and take a shower. Remember to use shampoo as much of the smell will most probably be stuck in your hair. Also, ensure that you keep yourself hydrated by drinking a lot of water.
This is the best way to smoke weed with your friends without worrying about any inhibitions on the smell. There is an abundant flow of fresh air out there. Ensure that you are doing everything right so you do not get into trouble with the law and other locals. Weed tends to give you the ‘happy feeling’ effect, which is great if you are in a party. You may get loud and rowdy and this might not be very welcome.
Use A Pipe Instead Of Paper
If you’re smoking a joint that means you’re actually going to be stuck with the smell of burning paper on top of the cannabis aromas. In this case you can use a pipe instead. Pipes are made of a material that is not combustible, so you won’t have to worry about dealing with another smell.
Smoke Just What You Can In One Session
Pack one-hitters. Ensure that you smoke only what you can handle at that particular moment. This will ensure that you do not have excess weed or semi-burnt blunts lying around. There will be ash only and this minimizes the smell and makes it easy to dispose of as well.
Just Give It Time
Know the saying that time heals all wounds? Well, it works here too. Eventually, if given sufficient time, the smell will disappear on its own.
Other people advice putting a towel on the cracks under the door. I do not know much about the effectiveness of this but you can give it a try if that’s how bad you want to get rid of the smell of weed from your room. I doubt it will very effective though.
You don't need to let everyone know if you have been smoking weed. The smell always gives you away though. Learn how to hide the smell of weed like a pro here.