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I, Albatross

From the Heart of Los Angeles: A Writer’s Personal Record of Endurance, Humor, and Sometime Insanity

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Monday, May 6, 2019

In Defense of Hulk Dabbing

The embargo against Endgame spoilers has officially lifted so here’s my take on it. If you haven’t yet seen it and are trying to avoid spoilers, I would duck out now.

For those not in the know, Endgame is the long-awaited sequel to Infinity War. It’s the culmination of a 22-movie megaverse. If you haven’t seen any other Marvel movie, Endgame is probably not the movie you want to start with, because it won’t make sense, contextually, without the prior 21 movies.

For the last decade, Marvel movies have been a major, if not primary, source of comfort, excitement, and guidance for me. So naturally I had a lot of vested interest in Endgame.

I saw it thrice over the course of a weekend and my opinion wavered. My initial reaction was one of dumbfounded disappointment. Visually, it was stunning. And certainly its construction could be said to be a masterpiece. But the characterization had gone off the deep end. And for me, a story is ultimately all about the characters. The characters are the vehicle for the story, not vice versa; stories reveal fundamental truths about humanity, and if your human characters are weak or unrelatable or inconsistent, the story itself falls apart.

By the third time I’d seen it, I had a case of what might have been the emperor’s new clothes, and I had determined that I liked it more than Infinity War. Putting aside the characterization for a moment, it was a whirlwind of familiar references and air-tight choreography and dazzling special effects. The fight scene at the end alone put this movie in a class of its own.

But this blog isn’t about writing glowing reviews, so I’d like to dive in to the flaws that prevented me from loving this movie as much as I might have. And then, in what is probably a hilarious ironic inconsistency, explain why it’s actually totally okay.

Let’s start with Tony. Tony Stark is my favorite character. A swaggering, selfish, emotionally stunted billionaire playboy with a guilt complex and a drinking problem, Tony’s whole schtick in this movie is that he’s transformed into a family man.

Granted, people change. Granted, after a massive world genocide and a dozen traumatic battles, maybe someone like Tony actually would settle down with his One True Love and have an adorable, precocious daughter. Personally, I don’t like Family Man Tony. It doesn’t mesh with the character I fell in love with, who has always been a contradiction. A selfish superhero, a narcissistic do-gooder, a self-important altruist. I liked the old Tony, who got hungover and screamed at his secretary, and had foursomes with girls introduced to him by the Wu-Tang clan, and probably smoked cigars in elevators like a dick.

But since the Disney acquisition it’s been clear to me that they were going to lean into a more (literally!) “family-friendly” version of Tony. I braced myself for his life as a family man, willing to turn a blind eye to the fact that his no-nonsense businesswoman lover would even accept his proposal in the first place. I readied myself for the inevitable fan service, for the softer side, and yes, I readied myself for Tony’s inevitable death.

His martyrdom was a long time coming and it was better for him to go out in a blaze of glory than to quietly fade into old age and obscurity, things Tony would never abide. Plus, the actor made it clear that he was ready for something different and was exiting the franchise. So, Tony’s death didn’t bother me.

What bothered me was the total abandonment of every other character trait that made him. Tony, the urban tech mogul, is suddenly living in a bucolic lake house decorated with lace doilies and furniture from Pier 1 imports. Where’s his lab? His fancy cars? There’s mention that he’s building his wife a suit (for reasons completely fucking unknown and never explained) but we see virtually no technology. Not even a dishwasher. There’s a whole sequence where billionaire Tony Stark is washing dishes by hand. You know, because he’s so domestic now. Look, I don’t care if you want to make him soft, but you can’t just rewrite fundamental character traits. Tony grew up in cities, lived in cities, basked in technology. his weird little cabin house is not him. You might as well make Clint into a samurai, or Steve into a frail old man.

Speaking of which.

Like many, I was horrified at Captain America’s ending. It was supposed to be sweet that Steve went back in time but it raised far more questions than it answered. First of all, how did Steve return to the same timeline as an old man? The Ancient One already explained that when you fuck with a timeline, it creates a new timeline, a divergence. (This totally new and original concept was the central theme of Divergence.) If Steve went back and at any point affected ANYTHING, shouldn’t he have returned to a different timeline entirely? How did he know he would end up back with “his” Sam?

The passing of the shield was nice, although Bucky is inexplicably gone for the scene where Falcon becomes the new Captain America.

Maybe this was to distract us from the reality that, if Steve went back in time, that means he was abandoning Bucky to life of torture. That, while Steve was dancing with Peggy in the 1950s, Bucky was being held captive by Hydra, who were torturing his brain into mush.

In fact, Steve’s decision to go back in time arguably goes against Steve’s two main tenants. Steve’s catchphrases are: “I can do this all day” and “Till the end of the line.” And suddenly he decides he’s tired and wants to grow old in peace? Steve is a soldier for Christ’s sake. Even if he wanted to go back to civilian life, there’s the question of, can he? Armed with a high school education from 1935 and some basic doodling skills, I’m not sure what the hell Steve planned to do once he decided to give up being a soldier; it’s all he’s ever known. Abandoning Bucky for Steve would be like Tony abandoning his lab and his suits and. oh wait.

There’s also the uncomfortable reality that Steve going back in time means that Captain America indirectly caused pretty much every tragedy from then until now by not preventing it. His wife, Peggy, was a SHIELD agent, basically an FBI agent on steroids, so how is it we still had, you know, 9/11? Bad Steve! *sprays with water bottle*

Also, how did no one notice Steve was Steve, exactly? Wouldn’t Steve going back in time have irrevocably reversed history? Peggy and Howard were pals; did she lie to Howard for fifty years about her husband, or did she and Steve go over for dinner and Howard just somehow didn’t notice that her husband was Steve, who he had been looking for since 1944? Steve was sort of famous in his own time; people would probably notice Steve if he came back, Especially people like Howard who had, you know, already fucking known him.

Happily, some of my closest friends and writing partners agreed that the characterization of Steve and Tony bothered them, too. On the bright side, Thor got an incredible character arc. My only complaint is that his self-harm was played up for laughs. Thor getting fat because he’s sitting around all day playing video games and drinking beer isn’t funny; it’s tragic. And his reaction to Steve bringing up Thanos was one of the most emotional parts of the movie. His discovery that his net worth remains unchanged despite years of self-neglect was beautiful; the “I’m still worthy!” line was as perfectly in-character as Steve’s ultimate yeeting-himself-into-the-past was out of character.

There were a few moments of awkward fan service that made me wince a little. The part where someone asks how Captain Marvel was going to get through enemy lines, followed by the Girl Squad arriving and saying “She’s not alone!” made me want to cringe myself into orbit. Good news, Captain Marvel. Okoye is here with her spear! I didn’t like Captain Marvel, either, which was a bland, utterly forgettable origin story that felt out of place in Phase 3 of the MCU.

I, Albatross From the Heart of Los Angeles: A Writer’s Personal Record of Endurance, Humor, and Sometime Insanity Pages Monday, May 6, 2019 In Defense of Hulk Dabbing The embargo

hulk dabbing endgame

Here is my new Nano Gauntlet seen in the movie Endgame that is worn by both Hulk and Thanos. Since the gauntlet in the movie is rather large I scaled this model appropriately (its really big so hopefully you have a decent sized printer). Additionally.

Numéro 1 : Nebula dans Avengers endgame https://www.cgtrader.com/3d-print-models/miniatures/figurines/nebula-avengers-endgame Numéro 2 : Ronin dans Avengers endgame.

Hulk 3d model from Avengers Endgame. It has an FBX as well as XPS version . It is rigged and ready for animation .It also includes normal map texture to add detail to the suit. .

HULK SMASH 🙂 Hulk model for personal 3d printing.

120mm Follow us on facebook

Hulk Sculpt that already printed in my printer

Hulk SMASH. )) My version of HULK, Print it whith PLA. Figure size about 18 cm. Make in one pece or in 5 parts. . STL file

Hulk 111.9 x 41.2 x 122.2 mm 64 g 10 h 8 mn

Hulk bust Hello, I made this hulk bust, I have asked for it on my you tube channel and I leave it on this page, I hope you enjoy the figure, greetings.

Hulk Statuette License: for private use only. . Any sale of the file or the printed object is prohibited.

I have edited this hulk model, and I got it on Sketchfab. . not sure if it is on Thingiverse.

Hulk for 3d printing by 3doftom on Sketchfab A beastial version of the Hulk from the Marvel Univers. Huge shoulder muscles and arms for throwing and smashing. He’s a hulking mass of pure destruction! Requires an advanced understanding of their 3d.

Hulk lego size. (*Images are of low resolution print 30mins. With high resolution should get a good action figure). Instructions Print him out laying down seems to work. Hulk lego size. (*Images are.

120mm You can find us also on: Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/xoonobe/ Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/xoonobe/ youtubehttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWRwDqefIYstaZ4I0E2540A Our bloghttp://druk3d.xoonobe.com/blog/ Our.

. beast. one of the most acclaimed, best achieved and most complex characters in the marvel universe. will the hulk die someday? . Based on this premise, in JL comics we pay tribute to the character in a powerful and somewhat different version!

hulk dabbing endgame ✅. Here is my new Nano Gauntlet seen in the movie Endgame that is worn by both Hulk and Thanos. Since the gauntlet in the movie is rather large I scaled this model appropriately (its really big so hopefully you have a decent sized printer). Additionally……