Smoking weed in the bathroom
Growing up, my mother was (and still is) a big stoner, so I’ve never been concerned with getting caught green-handed at home. However, throughout the years I’ve exercised discretion while getting high in hotels and dorms, at the Waffle House, during concerts, in the middle of the disco, at the company holiday party, in the basement of my friend’s house paranoid on acid, in the stairwell of a music studio in midtown Manhattan, in the hot tub of the Ritz-Carlton at 2 a.m. before being escorted out by security…I could go on for days. Needless to say, learning to be a stealthy stoner is a bright idea. Pay attention while I dish you some tips.
Anticipate Your Needs
When toking on the down low, you want easy access to everything you could possibly need. I recommend putting together a stash bag, like one from the AnnaBís collection, full of essentials: breath mints, gum, eye drops, fragrance oil, miniature air freshener, moist toilettes, lighter, matches, poker or paper clip, pipe cleaners, one-hitter, cannabis, etc.
Choose a Method
Whatever you do, don’t smoke a blunt or a joint because the smoke is uncontrollable and you will get busted. Instead, use a bowl with a lid like the Proto Pipe or a one-hitter. Or skip combustion all together and vaporize your cannabis. CO2 vape oil pens and portable dry leaf vaporizers like the PAX 2 are super discreet, extremely convenient and easy to hide. Plus, the vapors emitted are much tamer and the odor is subtle. Just be sure to keep your bud in an air-tight jar. It’ll give off more aroma than your plumes of vapor.
Related: Stoner Buddy Movies
Banish the Smell
The sweet and pungent aroma of cheeba is easily recognizable. You’ll want to mask or eliminate the odor the best you can. First, close all vents and block the draft under your door. You can use a towel for the door, but I prefer a draft stopper because it looks less sketchy. Consider investing in an air purifier. They’re spendy, but well worth the investment. Scented candles, incense, and air sanitizers are helpful, too. In college, I perfected the art of smoking through a spoof and never got caught. Make your own by taking an empty toilet paper or paper towel roll and taping a folded drier sheet on one end. Simply, exhale into the open end for fresh-laundry-scented smoke. Or, you can buy one of these handy personal smoke filters: Smoke Buddy, Sploofy or Snubbz. Also, next time you’re in a head shop, look for a tiny spoof disguised as chapstick. It makes a handy addition to your stash bag.
Eliminate the Smoke
Open a window and place a box fan facing outside in the sill. Turn it on high. After you take a hit, cover the top of your bowl or one hitter. Then, exhale slowly into the back of the fan. If you have another fan in the room, allow it to oscillate.
Hide the Noise
You may cough or get a case of the giggles. Not to mention, the click of your lighter may tip someone off. Do yourself a favor and play some background music. Electric fans will help create ambient noise as well. You could turn on the TV, but it’s generally a buzzkill. If you’re in the bathroom, run the shower or faucet. Keep a pillow or hoodie close by to muffle uncontrollable fits of laughter and the like.
Survey the Scene
Is the smoke alarm disarmed? Are the doors locked? Are the vents closed? Is the window open? Is the draft under the door blocked? Is the air purifier turned on? Is music playing? Is your 420-fearing roommate around? Are your parents home? Are your kids home? Where’s your stash bag? Before your judgement gets a little hazy, take note of your surroundings, make sure you have everything you need, and take any last minute precautions to avoid unexpected encounters.
Devise an Emergency Backup Plan
Accidents happen. Maybe, after a few drinks, you think it’s a good idea to hot box the apartment. Perhaps, you’re smoking up with inexperienced tokers and someone knocks over the bong, allowing the stench and smoke to escape. You may forget to towel the door. One of your friends may start squealing like a pig. Stay cool, spray air sanitizer, open a window, hide your stash, and take a walk. What happens if a neurotic roommate or asshole neighbor stops by to complain? Apologize and send them on their way. What happens if the police come knocking at your door? Stay cool and know your 4th Amendment rights.
Stealthy Stoner Bonus Tips:
- Smoke up in the bathroom. It’s the one place you can get away with spending extended periods of time without someone barging in.
- Cover your fire alarm with a plastic shower cap to keep it from going off while you’re blazing.
- Keep an empty beer bottle around. If someone calls you out for acting silly, blame it on the malty beverage.
- Explore the discrete world of medicated edibles, tinctures, and patches. No smell, no smoke, no problems.
How to Hide the Smell of Weed
Love it or hate it, there’s no denying the smell of some fresh bud is strong. That classic marijuana aroma shouldn’t prevent you from enjoying that high though. That’s why we’ve complied a list of tried-and-true methods for keeping that smell contained. Below you will find our tips on how to hide the smell of weed while smoking and after smoking.
Hide the smell while smoking
1 – Make a Sploof
Sploofs are handheld devices that use a filter to minimize the smell of marijuana. Simply blow your smoke through the open end of the sploof and let the filter work its magic. If you can’t pick up a commercial sploof like a SmokeBuddy, you can easily make one yourself.
All you need is a cardboard cylinder from a paper towel or toilet paper roll, a dryer sheet, and a rubber band. Fold the dryer sheet a few times (this will be your filter) then place it over one end of the cardboard cylinder. Use the rubber band to secure the dryer sheet, then viola! Your DIY sploof is ready to go.
2- Smoke in the Bathroom/Shower
Turn your shower on and make it as hot as possible. The steam from the hot water will mix with the smoke and help dissipate the smell. Make sure you fan is on as well so the steam/smoke mix will get sucked up and out of the bathroom. Stuffing a damp towel into the crack at the bottom of your bathroom door will help keep the smoke from creeping out as well. When you are done, you can take a quick shower too to help remove any lingering smell from your body!
3 – Use Natural Incense, Scented Candles, or Essential Oils
Not only will some natural scents help hide the smell of weed, it will make you place smell a lot better! We suggest either burning some natural incense like Palo Santo or Sandalwood or using essential oils in an air diffuser with scents like lavender or eucalyptus. Getting into the habit of burning some nice scented candles throughout the day will help keep the smell of weed from building up in your place too. Just make sure to avoid any artificial deodorizers as they tend to just mix with the marijuana smell instead of covering it.
4 – Try Vaping
A vaporizer heats up the cannabis flower or concentrate to just the right temperature to extract the cannabinoids and terpenes without actually burning it. Not only does this prevent the releases of harmful tar and carcinogens that come from traditional burning methods, the resulting vapor has a much less potent aroma.
5 – Make Sure There’s Proper Ventilation
Having enough ventilation so the smoke has somewhere to go will dramatically prevent it from lingering on you, the furniture, and walls. Open a window and point a fan at it so there is some air flow. Just make sure if you live in an apartment that you aren’t blowing the smoke into your neighbors.
6 – Pack a Small Bowl
Bowls produce noticeably less smoke compared to joints and bongs. Plus, the smoke they do produce mostly just comes from the actual bowl, not the mouthpiece. Packing a lighter bowl (just enough for one hit) will help limit the amount of burning and subsequent smoke. It’s not a perfect solution, but it’s a small detail that will help you be more discreet.
Hide the Smell After Smoking
1 – Plan Ahead
The easiest way to get the smell of cannabis off you is to take a shower and change your clothes! If you can plan ahead, that will save you a lot of hassle later on. Keep a spare change of clothes in a duffle bag or backpack with you, and try to smoke at a friends place with a shower you can use or stop by the locker room at your gym. Sometimes the simplest solution is the best!
2 – Soak up Some Sun
The suns UV rays can actually neutralize odors. If it’s nice and sunny out, go spend 30 minutes to an hour outside in direct sunlight. This will help burn off some of the extra residue on your body and clothes. If it’s a sunny day in Seattle, you shouldn’t mind getting outside for a bit anyways!
3 – Mind Your Hair
Smoke likes to cling to things, especially your hair. If you can reduce the amount of hair you have exposed, then less smoke will latch on it. Try wearing an old hat when you smoke next, or pull it back into a ponytail or bun. Keeping details like these in mind while smoking will help reduce the smell afterwards.
Zips Cannabis is Here to Help
If you have any more questions about how to hide the smell of weed, or things like how to get higher smoking weed and the difference between cannabis concentrates, feel free to stop by Zips Cannabis to chat with one of our friendly budtenders. We’re passionate about cannabis, and are happy to share any of our personal tips and tricks! With our pot shops located in the heart of Tacoma and Seattle, we’re conveniently located just around the corner. Stop by your local Zips Cannabis pot shop today!How to Hide the Smell of Weed Love it or hate it, there’s no denying the smell of some fresh bud is strong. That classic marijuana aroma shouldn’t prevent you from enjoying that high though. ]]>